Parachuting, jack handey s deep thoughts on parachuting. Phils favorite jack handy quotations if you ever drop your keys in a river of molten lava, let em go, because, man, theyre gone. When gary told me he had found jesus, i thought, yahoo. Deep thoughts by jack handey was an icon of saturday night live in the 1990s. And i can picture us attacking that world, because theyd never expect it. Displays a random quote from jack handey s deep thoughts powered by. Sometimes when i reflect back on all the beer i drink i feel ashamed. Jack handey born february 25, 1949 is an american humorist. Funny quotes a funny thing is if youre out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him youre going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend you got bit by a snake. His other books include the stench of honolulu, what id say to the martians, deeper thoughts, all new, and deepest thoughts. Homicidal, jack handey on what to do when hes feeling homocidal. Jack handey is a brilliant comic and a lovely person who has amassed a legion of fans with his unique brand of comedy.
A clever, absurd and fantastical adventure that could only have sprung from the hilariousslashlunatic mind of jack handey. Once when i was in hawaii, on the island of kauai, i met a mysterious old stranger. Get youtube premium get youtube tv best of youtube music sports. Jack handey offers his deep thoughts on how to get rid of a thanksgiving dinner you dont want to eat. Top 30 quotes of jack handey famous quotes and sayings.
Its a neat trick to plan an elaborate trick on the first of april and then say april fools for instance i tried this real elaborate proposal that really got my girlfriends hopes up. On the website deep thoughts by jack handey, the funny moments live on even decades after the segments stopped airing on snl. The pick of the crop one thing kids like is to be tricked. Jack handey born 25 february 1949 is an american humorist. Deep thoughts by handey, jack, 1949publication date 1992 topics wit and humor, juvenile, american wit and humor. May 11, 2015 before there was internet snark way back in the dark ages of the 90s there were deep thoughts by jack handey. Although many people assume otherwise, handey is a real person, not a pen name or character. Jack handy quotes, jack, handy, author, authors, writer, writers, people, famous people. Get your kindle here, or download a free kindle reading app. Then, writer and humorist, jack handey of snls deep thoughts with jack handey offers an explanation as to why the voice of deep thoughts might be a. He was a staff writer for saturday night live, and has won two emmy awards and a writers guild of america award. The stench of honolulu written and read by jack handey. Deep thoughts by jack handey was a regular segment on television parts. Jack handey is the author of the bestselling deep thoughts series of books.
A tropical adventure, written and read by the legendary snl deep thoughts and new yorker writer jack handey. A national bestselling collection of comedian jack handey s deep thoughts short, funny observations on life that were shown in between sketches on saturday night live. If you go flying back through time, and you see somebody else flying forward into the future, its probably best to avoid eye contact. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies.
Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack. Now jack handey has written a novel, the stench of. Deep thoughts inspirational quotes gif by jason clarke. Dont ever get your speedometer confused with your clock, like i did once, because the faster you go the later you think you are.
I started to drive over to the real disneyland, but it was getting pretty late. Aug 12, 2005 what are the best deep thoughts by jack handey, in pattericos opinion. Yes, but its also boring to sit through a church service, so it evens out. For the uninitiated, deep thoughts was a brilliantly satirical saturday night. Oct 05, 2017 jack handey presents a twisted russian doll scenario in this deep thought read by michael nesmith. The uploader has not made this video available in your country. If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, mr. If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em, cause, man, theyre gone. Deep thoughts by jack handey shark from television parts. Sometimes i worry what kind of a world we are leaving to the bands of roving mutants who will inherit it. I wouldnt be surprised if someday some fisherman caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Pattericos pontifications best deep thoughts by jack handey. Deeper thoughts, all new by jack handey 19930504 paperback january 1, 1840 4.
Use updown arrow keys to increase or decrease volume. And if you love jack handey quotes, check out runt of the webs other posts on. Jack handey deep thoughts from snl, deep thoughts by jack. Deep thoughts by jack handey is a book that holds some of the funniest and most absurd segments from the saturday night live years. Deep thoughts by jack handey if you drop your keys into molten lava just let em go cause, man, theyre gone. Deep thoughts by jack handey really funny clean jokes and humor. Porn booths saturday night live by saturday night live. I just received my shipment of his deep thoughts books business expense, and i discovered his wisdom around personal productivity, and life in general. Shark riding an elephant, jack handey s deep thoughts on a shark riding an elephants back. Deep thoughts by jack handey saturday night live youtube. Handey won two emmy awards and a writers guild of america award for his writing on snl and other comedy shows. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Oct 22, 2019 deep thoughts by jack handey from old school snl days.
The 75 most hilarious homer simpson quotes of all time. Deep thoughts by jack handey really funny clean jokes. Is there a real jack handey deep thoughts by jack handey. Jimmy fallon out this month july 16 from hachette audio. See more ideas about deep thoughts, thoughts and deep thoughts jack handy. Deep thoughts by jack handey family outings from television parts. Thanks to jack handey for being a comedic genius and coming up with these. Many people have the false impression that jack handey is not an actual person, but a character created by saturday night live or a pen name used by national lampoon. I wish there was something called trial by ants, because at the end the guy would say, the ants have spoken. After that i usually feel a lot better, and no harm done. Religion, some people say, has caused wars and fighting. See more ideas about deep thoughts, deep thoughts jack handy and thoughts. Jack handey confirms that yes, he is a real person duration.
Below are some of his observations i thought youd like. He is best known for deep thoughts by jack handey, which appeared on saturday night live. Presidential gift, jack handey s deep thoughts on love affairs. Please stop the deep thoughts book deep thoughts by jack handey.
Jack handey, deep thoughts i think a good movie would be about a guy whos a brain scientist, but he gets hit on the head and it damages the part of the brain the makes you want to study the brain. And then everybodys gotta start making funny stuff and stop making shit that i hate. A jack olantern with a knife stuck in the side of its head with a note that says you. Deep thoughts by jack handey are known worldwide for their simplicity, their insightfullness, and deep thoughts. He is most famous for his deep thoughts, a large corpus of surrealistic oneliner jokes. Deep thoughts were first seen in small comedy magazine army man comics edited by george meyer and continued in national lampoon in 1984 though gained popularity when they were read on saturday night live beginning in 1991. Tags inspirational quotes baby traps jack handey deep thoughts. Jun 05, 2019 if you miss the days of jack handeys deep thoughts, this is a great extension of what can be explored with that tone, while capturing the mischievousness of rumrills live comedy onscreen. At the bottom youll find links to his the new yorker short stories. Open up a new tab with a wonderful and inspiring quote from philosopher jack handey.
Oct 03, 2017 jack handey answers this important question in this monologue read by michael nesmith from episode three of television parts. That way, youll be a mile from them, and youll have their shoes. From the book what id say to the martians and other veiled threats originally published in the new yorker. On the site, jack handey still doles out his satirical observations and much sought after inspirational quotations. Jack handey deep thoughts from snl, deep thoughts by jack handey.
Talk story about comedy writer jack handey, author of ojack handey s deep thoughts and also of saturday night live fame. Sep 22, 2017 everybodys gotta listen to jack handey on mike sacks podcast. With quirky, offbeat humor that often veers into the unexpected, jack handey s witty one liners make this book the perfect funny gift for fans of mitch hedberg or for anyone who appreciates a good dad joke. I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. Deep thoughts by jack handey your friends and family love the gift of laughter, give it to them with a quick visit to the official jack handey website. My favorite writer of all time is jack handey, and deep thoughts might be my alltime favorite thing ive ever seen on snl. I remember watching saturday night live and cracking up at these when they came on. If you drop your keys into molten lava just let em go cause, man, theyre gone. Deep thoughts by jack handey is it just me or do these deep thoughts quotes make you laugh.
Oh, you need anread more if you liked this, you might also like. The legendary deep thoughts and new yorker humorist jack handey is back with his very. He is best known for his deep thoughts by jack handey, a large body of surrealistic one liner. Features gems by jack handey and links to sites featuring jokes, the simpsons and calvin and hobbes. He cried and cried, but i think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. He is best known for his deep thoughts by jack handey, a large body of surrealistic oneliner jokes, as well as his fuzzy memories and my big thick novel shorts, and for his deadpan delivery. His humor pieces have appeare in the new yorker, outside, playboy, national lampoon, punch, and other publications. Quotesgram wallpaper from hd widescreen 4k 5k 8k ultra hd resolutions for desktops laptops, notebook, apple iphone ipad, android windows mobiles, tablets. Jack handey s deep thoughts on flying back through time. Deep thoughts by jack handy instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be thinking about getting more use out of the weapons we already have. Deep thoughts by jack handey one thing a computer can do that most humans cant is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse.
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